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Letting Go and Surrendering
Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.
Next week I’m interviewing Hal Dwoskin on the radio, the president of The Sedona Method, which has been around since the 1970’s and is predicated on the teachings of Letting Go and Being in the Present.
The future is always unknown. The future is unpredictable. When one truly lets go and forges ahead one will have few if any reference points to rely on.
A wise person once said that when an opportunity arose for me seemed comfortable, and then it probably was not truly my future. Where as if an opportunity arose that seemed quite nebulous, with few reference points, it was actually more likely to be related to my true future. It may seems counter-intuitive but the wise person explained, it is an important reason why people have difficulty letting go and embracing their future. He called this process “movement.” So if I am about to make a positive change and I feel uncomfortable about letting go into –it’s a good sign, it means I’m on the right path, because releasing attachment and a hold on anything is uncomfortable – it is new it is unknown, and ultimately it is okay. For me it always works out ten times better when I move into a new arena, despite any fear or concern. To do this I understand the importance of feeling the discomfort and concerns and stay in the present time. Know that you are always in the right place at the right time.
So feel it fully – all your feelings. Isn’t that an amazing concept – to give yourself permission to feel feelings? To feel sad. To feel guilty. To feel resentment, anger or remorse. Choose to be fearless about allowing yourself the full gamut of feelings. Once upon a time I read this passage: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” I utilized that phrase in many stuck areas of my life that caused me discontent, learning over and over again to accept things exactly as they were. And one day I realized a bigger picture of what that meant. Yes the phrase is about accepting other people and not needing to control them, or accepting outcomes greater or lesser than I had imagined them to be. And the other piece I interpreted was that I was also to accept my feelings exactly as they were– and that was the answer to my problems. So I started to do that. And amazing things began to happen. When anger came up I did my usual modus operandi and immediately tried to squash it, resist, and make it go away because it didn’t seem okay to feel anger. When I noticed that tendency to deny the feeling happening I then instead gave myself permission. I’d say to myself “it makes sense that you’re angry right now. It’s okay to be angry. I give you permission to feel completely pissed off right now.” And with harm to none, I internally opened the emotional flood gate and went for it. Once I felt my feeling a wee miracle occurred – the feeling – dissipated within minutes. Amazing. I recognize that if I resist anger or any emotion, it then persists. Resisting it causes it to hang around and linger and eat me up. Allowing myself to be exactly where I am, allows whatever is going on to run its course and then move on. I find it strange and fascinating that allowing also is what permits it to transmute to a peaceful energy so quickly. That’s what happens.
Ann Landers said: “Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”
Melody Beattie wrote:
“Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave, it means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible – controlling that which we cannot – and instead focus on what is possible – which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love as much as possible.”
You are loved by The Creator infinitely more than you can ever imagine.
Remember: Letting go looks like releasing unwanted things, attitudes, beliefs, people, events, circumstances, finances, career, relationships, love . Wow. Take those claws out of the current situation you’re holding on to so fiercely and let it go. Surrender. Accept.
Mary Manin Morrissey said:
“The Tao Te Ching says 'When I let go of what I am I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.’ Have you ever struggled to find work or love only to find them after you’ve given up? This is the paradox of letting go. Let go, in order to achieve. Letting go is God’s law.”
Matthew Fox wrote: “Healthy mysticism praises acts of letting go, of being emptied, of getting in touch with the space inside and expanding this until it merges with the space outside. Space meeting space; empty pouring into empty. Births happen from that encounter with emptiness, nothingness. . . . Let us not fight emptiness and nothingness, but allow it to penetrate us even as we penetrate it. “
Stephen C. Paul: “You hang on to the past hoping for what should have been but still isn't and never will be until you let go!”
Zen Buddhist teaching: “Consider the trees which allow the birds to perch and fly away without either inviting them to stay or desiring them never to depart. If your heart can be like this, you will be near to the way.”
Christina Feldman: “We believe that it is difficult to let go, but in truth, it is much more difficult and painful to hold and protect. Reflect upon anything in your life that you grasp hold of--an opinion, a historical resentment, an ambition, or an unfulfilled fantasy. Sense the tightness, fear, and defensiveness that surrounds the grasping. It is a painful, anxious experience of unhappiness. We do not let go in order to make ourselves impoverished or bereft. We let go in order to discover happiness and peace.”
To "let go" means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is the realization that I can't control another.
To "let go" means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To "let go" is to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.
Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a patch and set yourself free.
